Q. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A. One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!

Q. What is the difference between a female lawyer and a catfish?
A. One's slimy and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.

Pak Ali had an awful day fishing on the river, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the market and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."

"But why?"